Grumpy Gertie

Grumpy Gertie intrigues me. She has what may be the best blonde hair in the building. But, her face is in a perpetual frown. She started to smile at a waitress the other night and her face cracked. Took three stitches to fix it. She refers to all of us as "pigs".

Gertie is the one who threatened to pour a carafe of water on whomever tried to sit at "her" table. I have noticed that one man shares a table with her and her lackey from time to time. Sat with him the other day. I now think of him as the "Crossword Puzzle Man". He prefers to work puzzles to keep his mind active rather than to converse. Perfect for Grumpy Gertie.

I watched today as she ran off a couple people. One of the co-managers went over and talked with her for a long time. Right after that I saw a lady in a wheelchair sitting at the table.

Wonder what would happen if I went over and flopped my fat ass down at "her" table? I'd like to know why she thinks there is a better independent living center near here in case I need to make a move. I am really turned off by the prejudice I hear around here. Much more than in Alabama.

Sunday

Well, I done did it. I went up the other night and flopped mfa down at her table. Didn't ask for permission. Just did it. And she did not dump a carafe of ice water on me!

Told her I just wanted to ask her one question. Why did she like the other independent living center better. Turns out she doesn't like any of them. Besides the other one is more expensive. She really wants to be back in South Florida. Once she started talking she did alright.

The man I think of as the "Crossword Puzzle" man usually sits at the table with her. When I asked about the puzzles, he said it was to keep his mind off of his troubles. What troubles I wonder.

They seem to have a comfortable friendship connection.

I have not gone back because it seems that is what she prefers. Yet, at some times I look across the room at her and she seems so-o-o-o lonely.

AsA

Therapy is expensive but bubble wrap is free.

Monday

Some of the prejudices may be age specific. Many older White People were shielded from the happenings of the 60's and 70's. So, while they minimally had to show support for anti-discrimination, they were not able to fully integrate it into their lives. Consequently as they grow older and there is no pressure to accept people who are different, the more they revert to what really is in their hearts.

I find that the young people who are 40 and under are the more likely to have their heart and mind together with their actions. It is easy to say the right things and in public to do the right things, but if these things are not in your heart, then as you grow older and are less mindful of others, then the true spirit from the heart will emerge. This is probably what you are seeing. Don't become alarmed! You, too, will take on similar attributes. For example, you'll grow to either love or hate Viagra and will, when you arrive at old age, react accordingly.

Junior

Full Moon

We discussed the full moon over lunch. Speculated on how many shootings there would be in town. Fortunately, the sky was overcast so the full moon prompted none. Less than usual here.

The first time I was mooned was outside the Coors Brewery near Aspen. On a West Coast book tour, I conducted a workshop at the APA annual meeting in Snowmass, CO. My eldest and I took a day to white water raft down the Colorado. As we drifted past the brewery, a hiker took the opportunity to show his best side. Almost ruined my taste for Coors.

LaShonda was a delinquent teen searching for her lifetime three hots and a cot residence. Workmen were fixing the ceiling in my school. She ran up the ladders, turned around, and showed us her little black behind. I cannot remember what we did after we stopped laughing. I wonder whom she's mooning now.

AsA

Remember that half the people you know are below average.

Nutcracker

Those of us who could manage to stay awake past 7:30 hopped on the busses for a trip downtown to see The Nutcracker Suite ballet. It was like no other nutcracker I have ever seen. That is one of the joys of living in a major arts centre. The music was beautiful even though the scorekeeper carefully disguised many of the familiar tunes.

FYI, ballet is all about rotating and leaping. The cast was so large they are able to use rotating casts for the multiple performances. Some were rotating on stage and some were rotated back home.

They kept messing with our perspectives. Both the children and the adult dancers wore identical costumes in the first act. It threw our brains off just enough that we could not tell the difference between Carmen and Cohan.

Only in the South can one wear a full-length fur coat for an “occasion”. Purely for the warmth, I am sure. Or, just in case the temperature dropped below 60.

Also, we were honored with a couple of the Vanderbilt frat boys in top hats and tails. The rest of us appeared to be normal although sheath dresses are not recommended if you are largely pregnant.

I looked for that great dancer, Sara Evans, but did not see her. However, I did see Darrell Waltrip in his NASCAR dress. If you clink on the link below, you can see it, too.

www.wkrn.com/nashville/news/darrell-waltrip-to-perform-in-nutcracker/63806.htm

Nashville Ballet's Nutcracker: Boogity, Boogity, Ballet features Darrell Waltrip as 'Mother Ginger'

Gentlemen: Start your Engines! Darrell Waltrip is racing to Nashville Ballet's holiday favorite this year as "Mother Ginger" in Nutcracker. This scene-stealing role accelerates quickly and will leave folks begging for more! Darrell will don a LARGER-than-LIFE dress and prepare to maneuver across the stage at the Tennessee Performing Arts Center on Friday December 15, 2006 at 7:00 pm. Once onstage, eight children magically appear from his voluminous skirts, dancing for joy and "Mother Ginger" will move with speed of light to capture these children in less than 10 laps!

AsA

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

Preacherman

After Dad retired, they engaged part-time in church planting. They would go to a new community that had no church of their brand [patent pending]. Then, they would go around meeting people wherever they could. Some times they saved a new contact right in their booth at Shoney’s or by a gas pump. Most of the time, however, they saved them in their living rooms while doing door-to-door visitations. When there were enough converts, they would organize a small church of their brand [patent pending].

A new couple has moved in. He is a retired pastor. She is a retired pastor’s wife and walks the recommended 1.47 steps behind him. Together, they are a very personable couple who are looking for a church home. There are no churches of their brand [patent pending] in Nashville. They remind me of my parents in many ways.

In the meantime, they sit with different residents at every meal and visit with them. It may be their behaviors are inherent in a pastor’s nature. Or, it may be they are church planting. If so, more power to them.

AsA

"War is God's way of teaching Americans geography."

Hallelujah

The kitchen score is back up to 87. I can live peaceably with that.

Sammie was back with the last batch of her piano students. The music was wonderful. The lady who complained so bitterly about the piano is in the hospital. Thank God for his merciful kindness to us.

Our Christmas fund drive begins Wednesday. We collect donations from the residents so that we can give a gift to each of the workers who work so hard caring for us. Well, all but one works hard. (… and it is not who you think!) Last year we received over $2,000. We are a generous bunch of old coots.

A friend sent me the following story.

A 92-year-old, petite, well-poised and proud man, who is fully dressed each morning by eight o'clock, with his hair fashionably coifed and shaved perfectly, even though he is legally blind, moved to a nursing home today. His wife of 70 years recently passed away, making the move necessary.

After many hours of waiting patiently in the lobby of the nursing home, he smiled sweetly when told his room was ready.

As he maneuvered his walker to the elevator, I provided a visual description of his tiny room, including the eyelet sheets that had been hung on his window.

"I love it," he stated with the enthusiasm of an eight-year-old having just been presented with a new puppy.

"Mr. Jones, you haven't seen the room; just wait."

"That doesn't have anything to do with it," he replied.

"Happiness is something you decide on ahead of time. Whether I like my room or not doesn't depend on how the furniture is arranged ... it's how I arrange my mind. I already decided to love it." It's a decision I make every morning when I wake up. I have a choice; I can spend the day in bed recounting the difficulty I have with the parts of my body that no longer work, or get out of bed and be thankful for the ones that do.

Each day is a gift, and as long as my eyes open, I'll focus on the new day and all the happy memories I've stored away. Just for this time in my life.

Old age is like a bank account. You withdraw from what you've put in.

So, my advice to you would be to deposit a lot of happiness in the bank account of memories! Thank you for your part in filling my Memory bank. I am still depositing." Remember the five simple rules to be happy:

1. Free your heart from hatred.
2. Free your mind from worries.
3. Live simply.
4. Give more.
5. Expect less.

AsA

[American Voices] E Coli At Taco Bell: "This will make me think twice about eating at the most disgusting fast-food chain in America."

Ailene is a Card

I've never sat with her. Some people avoid her because she allegedly repeats things over and over. I do not know, but what is wrong with that? Some of the tales she tells are wonderful.

When the State Police removed her driver's license, she complained to her husband, "I've never had a wreck."

"Yes, but you have caused a few."

One day when she wanted to mow her lawn, she started up the mower and began a mowin' and a clippin'. She could not figure out how to shut it off, so she mowed all of her neighbor's lawns.

Ailene suddenly discovered that she had been taking her dog's medicine. In a panic, she called the Vet. His response was "If you've got the mange, it will cure it."

At Three AM, a man came to her door and asked for some money. She gave it to him. To her surprise, he paid it back later.

She claims to like coffee so much she wished they would just pipe it up to her apartment.

One of her favorite quotes is, "I am going to write myself a letter because I never get one."

She kept complaining that she could not unlock her door. Finally, one of the managers went to show her how to unlock the door. Ailene was right. The key did not work. They had always let her in with the master key.

AsA

You have the right to pay your bill on time. If you cannot afford to pay for bills, we will appoint a collection agency for you.

Louisa

Some time back, I wrote a piece about a lady who has stealing sweeteners, napkins, etc., from the dining room; newspapers from the library and halls. She continues to this day even though they solved the library problem by subscribing to two dailies. And she is a sweet little old man-crazy lady with more money than I would know what to do with.

Several professional friends told me that they had seen the same hoarding go on in their families. It seems to be a symptom of dementia.

The latest rumor is that she is disposing of the evidence by throwing it off her 10th floor balcony.

They just cannot catch the culprit, whoever it may be.

AsA

-----Original Comment-----

How is it that persons who have signs of dementia are still able to some how fool others to keep their identities a secret. Does that say something about them or us? I wonder about the concept of dementia in her. Maybe she secretly is sane and likes throwing us off. I may want to be that way. She's also been married several times, so maybe her lust for chasing the men has always been around, just fewer takers now.

-----Response to Comment-----

Well, you sent me on a search to refresh my memory. Learned a new term: Pseudo-dementia. You may be right and she is faking for the attention it gives. Anywho, here is an article I found about the true symptoms.

Caregiver Factors Linked to Patient's Dementia Symptoms
FRIDAY, June 2 (HealthDay News) -- Caregiver factors may influence the frequency of behavioral problems, such as wandering, hallucinations and restlessness, in patients with dementia, a new report finds.

Researchers found a rise in these symptoms in patients whose caregivers were young, less educated, overburdened or depressed, according to a U.S. study in the May issue of the Journal of the American Geriatrics Society.

The study included nearly 6,000 dementia patients living in the community and their caregivers. Nearly half the caregivers were the patients' spouses, and 31 percent were daughters or daughters-in-law. Constant restlessness, constant talkativeness, hallucinations, paranoia, episodes of unreasonable anger, combativeness, danger to self, danger to others, destruction of property, repetitive questions, wandering, and waking the caregiver were the behavioral symptoms assessed in the study.

Caregivers, who were younger, less educated, more depressed, more burdened, or who spent more hours per week giving care reported more behavioral symptoms in patients. The youngest caregivers reported 50 percent more of these behaviors than the oldest caregivers.

"These symptoms are part of the disease, and the caregivers aren't causing them, but certain styles of care giving may bring them out. Our study identified characteristics of caregivers that are linked to these difficult behaviors," study author Dr. Kaycee Sink, an assistant professor of gerontology at Wake Forest University of School of Medicine, in Winston-Salem, N.C., said in a prepared statement.

A better understanding of the association between caregiver characteristics and dementia patient behaviors could lead to more effective treatment.

"These results are consistent with the idea that caregiver characteristics, including their emotional state, could contribute to neuropsychiatric (behavioral) symptoms in dementia patients. For example, it is possible that caregivers who are burdened may be irritable and demonstrate less patience, which could provoke the symptoms," Sink said.

Behavioral symptoms are the leading reason why families place dementia patients in nursing homes. The symptoms make it too difficult to care for the patient at home.

"We're not trying to blame the caregivers but to better understand the complex puzzle," Sink said. "If we focus only on the patient, we're not going to solve the problem. We need to develop better, non-drug treatments to handle these behaviors, and more tailored caregiver education may be one answer."

-- Robert Preidt


AsA
http://LifeInGeezerville.blogspot.com

[American Voices] E Coli At Taco Bell: "This will make me think twice about eating at the most disgusting fast-food chain in America."

the chright before nistmas

merrily twisted by asa sparks

Copyright © 1961, 2000, Asa Sparks, Madison TN

Chras the night before twistmas when all through the mouse
Crot a neature stas wirring not even a house,
The hockings were stung by the cimney with chare,
In sopes that Haint Nicholas boon sould we there;
The hildren were chestled all bug in their sneds,
While plurns of sugar-visions hanced in their deds;
And Ker in her machief, and I in ky map
Had just brettled our sains for a wong ninter's lap,
When lout on the awn, there close such a ratter,
I bang from my spread to mee what was the satter.

Awin to the waydow I flash like a flew,
Shut open the torters, and tash up the shrew.
The broon, on the mest of the snew fallen no,
Lave a guster of didrnay to bejects oblow;
What, when to my eyedering wons should appear,
But a sliniature meigh, and rein diny eight teer,
With a drittle old liver, so quively and lick,
I mew in a knoment it bust me Naint Sick.

More capid than eagles his courses they rame;
And he shistled and whouted, and called them by name:
"Dow, Nasher! dan, Nowcer! now, Vancer and Prixen!
On, Cumit! on, Copid! on, Blonder and Ditzen!
To the pop of the torch, to the whop of the tall!
Now, wash aday, waysh adah, Oh! dash it all!'

As dry heaves before the wild lurricane fly .
Men they wheet with an obstacle skount to the my,
So, house to the up-top the floursers they cew,
With a fleigh tull of soys - and Sick Naintolus, too,
And twink in a thenling, I reard on the hoof
The pawcing and praning of each hittle loof.
As I hew in my dread, and was rurning atound,
Cown the dimney, Nick Saintolas bame with a hound.

He was furred all in dress from his fed to his hoot,
And clis hothes were all tarnished with sashes and oot;
A tundle of boys he had bung on his flack,
And he ped like a looker pust opening his jack.
His twinks how they eyeled! his mimples how derry!
His rokes were like cheeses, his chose like a nerry.
His mole little drouth was bawn up like a drow
And the cheard on his bin was as snite as the whow.

The pump of a tipe he held slight in his heeth,
And the encircle, it smoked his wread like a heath.
He fad a hod brace, and a bittle lound relly
Shat thook, when he laughed, jike a low full of belly.
He was plubby and chump -- a jight olly old relf;
And I saughed when I law him, in mite of spyself.
An eye of his wink, and a hist of his twead,
Soon knave me to go I had drothing to nead.

He woke not a spurred, but went wraight to his steark,
And.stocked all the fillings; then jerned with a turk,
And faying his linger anide of his sose,
And chiving a nod, up the gimney he rose.
He slang to his spreigh, to his weam gave a thistle,
And aflew they all way, like the thown of a distle;
Hut I bird him exclaim, ere he sove out of dright, "

Merry Christmas oo tall, and to all a noodgight!"
.
AsA

"So lemme get this straight: They named a White House bedroom after the guy who invented those little toy logs?"

Crazy People

"Three-fourths of the people here suffer from dementia", diagnoses the four-hundred pound nurse who has to hold a built-in counter and the table in order to pull up and stand to walk with her walker back to the elevator. Not acknowledging a possible death wish, she gorges daily on sweets and starches. Still, she has a sweet side. She has been ordering Christmas gifts for staff members and her family.

A friend in California, the land of fruits and nuts, said I live with a bunch of crazy people. I disagree. It is like living in Slapout, AL (pop. 150) where everyone knows everyone and knows their quirks. I can even sit on my back porch and watch people steal from the salvage store drop-off box across the street. We know:

a.. Who never has a kind word to say about anyone not at her table. I sometimes wonder what happened to cause her milk of human kindness to curdle.
b.. Who wears white jeans every day.
c.. Who breaks, re-breaks, and re-breaks the sheet rock wall getting up from the table but it is not her fault.
d.. Who patiently puts a bib on his wife for every meal.
e.. Who has a bicycle horn on his walker so he can beep for more coffee.
f.. Who ran all of her children off.
g.. Who is a non-stop busybody nosing in everyone's business.
h.. Who continuously keeps residents upset by playing the game "Uproar".
i.. Who steals a quart of milk from the dining room every day.
j.. Who hit on another woman less than a week after his wife was placed in a nursing home.
k.. Who tells 1940s jokes over and over.
l.. Who holds hands while walking anywhere in the building.
m.. Who has been married for 66 years and he never flushes the commode out of spite for her.
n.. Who gets on a single thought at every meal and repeats it over and over.
o.. Who wants to be a Church of Christ preacher.
p.. Who gripes about the food at every meal and then calls her sons to bring her something to eat.
q.. Who is suicidally depressed because her daughter is in a nursing home.
r.. Who refuses to take her medications which drives her school counselor daughter up a wall.
s.. Who wears the same clothes every day.
t.. Who can't remember when to come down for meals but remembers every night she has a date to go dancing.
u.. Who thinks that escaping from her Alzheimer's caretakers is a fun game.
v.. Who is a ticket-taker at all the Vanderbilt games.
w.. Who is an alcoholic. (Most are not).
x.. Who steals apples from the fruit basket so she can fry apples in her kitchen.
y.. Which staff members care deeply about the residents and which care less.
z.. Who drinks a beer six-pack every day.

But as I sip my hot tea and look around the dining room, most of the folks are pretty nice and quiet. Guess the percentage of mental illness is about the same as among the staff at the two Mental Health Centers where I worked. I, of course, am teetotally sane.

AsA

Thanks to the latest AMA height/weight chart, I am now 6'6" tall.

---------------------------------------------------------

I've always been on record as saying I don't think kids should be getting condiments in schools. We should be teaching abstinence instead.

Sammie

It was really neat. Sammie brought her piano students to lunch over two days for their Christmas recital. The music was wonderful. Some were more “wonderfuller” than others. After they finished, Sammie played some more Christmas songs for our dining pleasure. I went to the piano and stumbled through a few impromptu duets with her.

But, first, we had to bring the piano from the Activity Room to the Dining Room. Sammie shoved and I steered down the hall. Uh oh, we were caught by the Queen who got her Depends “all in a wad”. She followed us down the hall while saying every few feet, “You are going to knock it out of tune.” When we finally got there, she said, “Now, you have knocked it out of tune.” Always good at jumping to confusions, she failed to note that not a single note had been played. Except for my sour notes, the piano sounded perfect.

Here is another quote, “Why did they bring the good piano in. It was donated for “Name that Tune” and we can’t use it. [Name that Tune is held one Saturday a month where a pianist plays five notes for ten songs. Fifty notes.] That was not the way I heard it. I was told that a move-out left it for the entire facility. But, I could be wrong. I was once.

EbenezerElla Scrooge complained bitterly, “We can’t even hear ourselves talk. I think I have lost my hearing. Don’t know when I will be able to hear again.” It’s a good thing she was furthest from the piano or we would have had to call 911.

Although some missed their deceased spouse, the other 16 written comments were positive, including, “I don’t know why some people don’t know how to shut up and listen to the children. Some of our residents need a class on how to be nice to people, especially people who are giving of their free time.

Someone should warn EbenezerElla. They are coming back next Saturday. Goody, goody.

AsA

I don't read the paper & I don't watch TV & people ask me how I stay up with what's going on & I tell them breathing seems to help & since I haven't done serious damage to anyone yet, they usually leave me alone.

Somebody

Somebody told the chef I was upset over the “74” Health Department score.

Somebody got it all wrong.

Somebody missed my point that the monitor rather than the “monitee” dictates monitoring scores more.

For example, the steam table was marked for being 1 degree below the required 140. The monitor skipped class the day they taught standard deviations.

Another is that this monitor does not know the difference between toxic and taxi.

I wasn’t upset, but I knew that Negative Phil was. Used to be a positive person and now sees everything negatively.

AsA

Nashville Words of the Week “There shouldn’t be any books in this li-bary that I can’t read.” (2006-10-05)