Crime

He came to the door of the apartment-bound lady and said he needed to check the water pipes. While there he managed to steal her credit card. Within hours, she reported the theft to the manager. NOTHING HAPPENED.

The next day, it was reported to one of the co-managers. He discounted the report saying, "Aw, she just forgot where she put it." Once again, NOTHING HAPPENED.

Then, why did the bank call and ask about $3,000 in charges at K-Mart.
And why did a pawn shop call to verify to the card of the apartment-bound resident? Hopefully, they identified the thief with surveillance cameras at those stores.

I may have stumbled on a source of the discontent in this retirement village. I spent my entire career working with people in business, education, and religion. Along the way I worked with professional malcontents. Spent many hours sympathetically listening to unhappy professional counselors and felt their pain. Even co-worked with one who had a Ph.D. in PE/Rabble-Rousing/and Personal Kingdom Building. But, nothing prepared me for the on-going hostility here. Some residents will not speak to certain staff members and some staff members return the favor.

Granted some residents are only happy when they are complaining. On the other hand, the general belief is that anything a resident says is discounted because they are "old". A common statement is that it does no good to offer suggestions or complaints because they are ignored. Other common occurrences include not passing on messages and forgetting promised tasks. I wonder if staff is ever given any training in dealing with the aged and infirm.

This leads to some thoughts for my readers who have parents with Alzheimer's and for counselors who work with geriatric clients:

a.. Sometimes the elderly forget.
b.. Sometimes the elderly get confused.
c.. And, sometimes the elderly get everything just right.

AsA

In addition to my blog, I send my little essays to a personal mailing list. If you would like to subscribe, write me at asasparks@bellsouth.net. To my surprise, this one generated a number of replies and an explanation from management.

Crime (an update)

----- Original Message -----
From: Christine

How are you coping?

My reply: I am coping very well. I like it here. I am not one of those who plans to pack and run as soon as a new facility is built. My daughter is just two miles away. I will stay here until her husband finishes his work in Iraq.

Life is relaxed and unhurried.

Besides, I am having too much fun being the self-appointed ombudsman for the ignored and discounted. Many of the opinions I report are not my own. Since most of my elders seem to have hearing problems and I pick up snatches of conversation three and four tables away. Did not even have to buy a Whisper2000. Plus, the elevators are almost always filled with comments if none of the managers are on board. Most of the time I like the meals.

In general, the management and I get along - especially since the mishandled attempt at confrontation. The manager does an excellent job of raising profits for the corporation. AsA

----- Original Message -----
From: Sheila

Very good insight. I believe this is one of your best pieces. Sheila

My reply: Thank you and I am glad I found out more on the story. If I had not written it and received an explanation, I would not have been able to explain to some of the residents who were "upsot".

----- Original Message -----
From: Olivia

A little consumer education for the credit card holders in your building would be in order, but don’t rely on management to do it. When a card is missing, call the credit card company or the bank that issued it immediately. Most cards have a special number for lost or stolen cards on the back of the card or on the monthly statement. (I’ve lost a few and had a few stolen.)

The goal of Geezerville’s top management is the bottom line, not your or anyone else’s happiness or well-being. You and the other residents there can complain all you want to, but don’t expect anything to change. To expect more is setting yourself up to be disappointed. It’s as good as it’s going to get there.

I don’t think this type of caretaker environment works for people as healthy as you are, but what do I know. Can you live with it? If so, reframe the experience and make peace with where you are.

I’ve had anxious moments here, wondering about my future and will I ever be able to retire and where will I retire. I am incredibly busy and have at least 3 big projects right now. I’m getting to use the web skills I have been learning and am valued for who I am and what I know (or don’t know).

My reply: I agree that the caretaker environment is not the ideal for me, but I cannot think of any better choice. Making the retirement decision is big for many people. Personally, I seem to see it as a foretaste of Heaven.

From: Margaret

Thank you. Sometimes I forget that the elderly can be/are right. Of course, when I don't listen to my mother, I end up paying. Meg

My reply: One of the surprises in writing my little essays is how many readers have elderly parents and appreciate the comments.

----- Original Message -----
From: Linda

Well-said. My mother, who will be 89 in December and who still lives alone in her home, gets so angry at the way some people dismiss her, talk down to her, or try to take advantage of her. Mama's response is usually to bestow upon them a good cussin'. Apparently, the "silent treatment" is not an option with her. She was an independent businesswoman in the forties and fifties, before women's liberation. She does get confused at times...but so do I. When she is visiting us, she reminds me of things I might forget otherwise.

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----- Original Message -----
From: Beth

Excellent!!!!!

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Melody wrote a gracious explanation of the crime situation.

----- Original Message -----
From: Melody

Asa,

The rest of the story... The apartment bound woman has a caregiver who takes care of her. When she reported the purse stolen, she was told to call the police and make a report. (Management can't do this only the victim) Unfortunately, the police took a week in getting back with her. They don't consider this kind of crime a priority. Banks will follow through if it's check fraud over $3000.00, but credit cards just cover them in insurance and don't pursue the theft.

Geezerville has actually assisted the police, or I should say investigators for the FBI, in catching check thefts but we never know the outcome in most cases.

About 7 out of every 10 reports to management are misplaced items. Every time something is reported stolen, it is documented and usually a member of the Management team goes upstairs and looks though the apartment. I found stolen slippers with support checks in them last week along with a hand made tissue box with blue birds on it. However, I didn't find the diamond watch she reported missing or the one piece underwear she had hanging on a hanger. I found six other pairs but they were not the right one.

Probably 3 out of the ten residents have had something stolen from them but there are other agencies in and out of their apartments daily, home health, care consultants, family members and yes, housekeepers. They are all welcomed into apartments even though they may have opportunity to steal. Now days you have to catch a thief red handed or suffer consequences of false accusations if you are wrong.

Most items reported stolen at Geezerville are:
Clothes, including underwear, jewelry, mostly costume but some real, quilts, purses, check books, cash and credit cards (but if you get a purse you got it all) Oh, and toothbrushes, yes, three were stolen last week along with a hearing aid.

Most items are found in hiding places so good that the resident forgot where it was. The dishwasher is a good hiding place along with the oven. Found one purse. A bit charred.

Most persons accused of taking items: Housekeepers and management team

It's a no win for us all. The old saying you can't take it with you is true, so give it away before you become a victim in the senior world. Or just say, "I'm naked and you can't come in". :-)

Mel
Geezerville East
Gracious Retirement Living


My reply: Molly Moocher and I would say, "I'm “nekkid” and please come in."

AsA

How many counselors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One, but it takes five sessions.
...and insurance only pays for three.